Dealing With Conflict Arising From Your Parents Living With You.
All of us either have or had parents. If you are lucky, they might still be alive by the time you start with a family of your own. To have your parents live with you when they grow old can either be a source of great pleasure and happiness, or it can tear your relationship apart.
There are many advantages of grandma and grandpa living with their children. In the first place, the grandchildren won’t be alone at home the whole day. Secondly there will always be someone at home, which obviously is better for security reasons. Grandpas and grandmas normally love gardening, so there will always be someone to water the garden.
A large number of the problems experienced by children in this regard is because of grandparents interfering with the way they raise their children. Many couple also realize too late that they suddenly have no privacy any more. That is the reason why you should seriously think of making a very good long term investment: build a separate granny flat on the premises for your parents where they can continue with their own lives.
Make sure the apartment has a kitchen of its own, where your mum can cook for her and your dad. It should be fully equipped including an oven. If you should buy a good quality Delonghi oven, for example, it will last for the rest of your parent’s lives.
Also ensure that they don’t have to climb steep stairs to get to the apartment. If an elderly person suffers from leg arthritis (for example), it’s very difficult for them to climb stairs. Also provide a wheelchair ramp - somewhere in the future it’s highly likely either your mother or father will need it.
Make sure you allow your mother and father enough quality time with their grandchildren. A few compromises might be necessary in this regard. A good idea is to sometimes take the baby bath to your parent’s apartment when it’s time to bath the baby and let grandma assist with the process. She will appreciate it more than you ever know and it will take her back to her own days of motherhood for a few minutes.
You don’t have to take your parents with every time you go for a drive or visit friends. But never taking them with you anywhere is sure to harm your relationship and make them feel unwelcome. Make a point of going on a family trip once a week where grandpa and grandma are able to bond with their grandchildren.
The way you handle the presence of your parents in your life when they are old, will set an example to your own kids. Don’t create a monster that will one day when you grow old come back and bight you. If you don’t treat your parents with respect, you can hardly expect your children to do so one day…
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